You Don’t Need a Purpose?
Recently on social media, there seems to be a trend of memes proudly stating: “I don’t need a purpose. I’m just happy living my life and enjoying the ride.” This always makes me wince a little, and no, it's not just because I make my living helping people find and express their purpose!
I often emphasise how purpose is not a job or work, and that’s certainly one reason for these memes – people emphasise their freedom and not being bound to any particular career, or even the need to “work” in order to be a valuable human. Ironically, I completely agree with that statement, but this doesn’t mean you don’t need purpose.
There are more and deeper layers to this, though, that I’d like to address in this article. I don’t want to simply repeat everything I’ve said before, either, so let’s see if we can put this in a new perspective, shall we?
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What we can all agree on
As I just said, there are parts we are in agreement on. I’m dismayed at the way our society places work - and paid work, at that – in the centre of everything and measures people’s value on their career performance or success. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing to love your job and do well, by the way, it just means that this shouldn’t be the only measure of human value.
I’ve written about where this focus comes from and that it’s actually historically fairly new. Its effects on our modern life are manifold and include:
The fact that “women’s work”, as it was called up to only a few decades ago, wasn’t valued. This is reflected in the fact that women worked their asses off (some still do) in the household and to bring up children, 24/7, for no compensation or acknowledgement at all.
A load of unhappy, stressed and burnt-out employees who wonder what all their work and success is for. Why aren’t they happier when they tick all the boxes and have even added the yoga class or meditation in the morning?
The way that the best thing anyone can say about another (think funeral speeches) is that they “worked hard”. In contrast, calling someone “lazy” is the worst insult and one that many of us level at ourselves, simply for needing periods of idleness and rest like any human.
This is the culture I criticise and work against, and it’s what these memes are on about. Things like rest, joy, and doing something just for the heck of it (not because it makes you money), are vastly underrated in our society. Yet they’re the key to a happy, fulfilled life.
So why would you need a purpose?
The above isn’t to say that work doesn’t count or is a bad thing. I’m simply proposing a proper balance, having healthy boundaries and reclaiming enough space and time outside of work to have a truly fulfilling life.
Put differently, it’s saying that work is not the purpose of your life. Rather, it’s a means to an end: It finances the life you want. Of course, some jobs can be much more than this. They can even express your purpose in some cases, but the operative word is “express”.
Say your purpose is to lift people’s spirits and make them smile. You might work as a Social Media Manager of an entertainment network or magazine, but if you lost that job or retired, you wouldn’t lose your purpose. Your purpose can be expressed in dozens of ways, including small messages and surprises for friends and family, doing stand-up comedy, drawing funny cartoons...
Can you see how these things would fulfill someone whose purpose was to lift people’s spirits and make them smile? Do you also see that this isn’t tied to any one activity?
How to express your purpose
This is where I disagree with the meme-creators: I say you absolutely need a purpose. At least, you need one in order to reach your full potential as a human being. As you’ve probably concluded by now, I don’t mean the top of the career ladder by this, I mean your full capacity for happiness, joy and content in your life.
Once you know your purpose, making choices is incredibly straightforward. Your simple – if not always easy – task is to align every area of your life to your purpose. It’s like an upgraded version of Marie Kondo’s “If it dosen’t spark joy, throw it out” in a sense, only that this time, the measure of things is purpose.
For starters, set priorities. Find out which areas of your life are already aligned with your purpose. Make more room for them and cut down on the rest. If you can, you should indeed drop activities and people who don’t align with your purpose, but even just reducing the time and energy spent with them will make a major difference.
As you move forward, you can begin only allowing new people and activities into your life that align with your purpose. When you do this and keep it up, you’ll progressively get happier and happier. There’s literally no limit.
It all begins with purpose! And it’s not all that difficult to find yours. All you need is the willingness to dig a little deeper and do the work of re-prioritising. When you conciously focus on joy (I recommend your passions), you’ll move ever close to the state of mind in which you’ll know your purpose.
Are you ready to find yours? Start with the free 5-day email challenge, and take it from there.