The Problem With Ticking Boxes To Be Happy
Abstract:
I once had a client whose life looked like one big success story: She was happily married with two great kids and had a successful career. The family lived in a beautiful house.
She told me she used to feel so guilty for not being happier. Why oh why was she feeling “meh” so much of the time? It took her until her 50th birthday to ignore the nagging voice that told her she was being ridiculous, and signed up for coaching.
Spoiler alert: We got to the root of the problem and she’s radiant these days. In fact, what held her back is a very common misconception.
Your mission today is to learn the problem with ticking boxes to be happy.
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Task 1: The problem with ticking boxes
Depending on your situation, the problem with ticking boxes to be happy may look different from the next person’s. The most common problems are:
1. Whose boxes are you ticking?
Just like my client, you may be ticking boxes that you think are “required”, or that society dictates. That doesn’t make you a pushover, it’s very human to try and follow the accepted path. There’s nothing wrong with getting married, having kids and/or a career, either. The issue is that it may not be your path.
2. You’re forgetting the most important factor
In your effort to collect milestones, you may be too busy to actually enjoy yourself. So many of my clients are stumped when I ask them what their passion is. This is not because they don’t have one, it’s because they’ve never thought about what actually makes them happy!
Task 2: Course-correct
First of all, I’m not asking you to diss your life choices. You’ve done nothing wrong! Usually, the “meh” feeling disappears with just a few corrections.
The first is obvious: Find your passion and make it a priority. A passion is yours alone and it’s central to happiness.
The second is that prioritising your passion leads you to your life purpose, which is the main thing missing in a life of ticking boxes. Once you add a feeling of purpose to every day and align your life to it, you’ll achieve new levels of contentedness and yes, happiness as well.