Use Your Body To Make Decisions & Set Boundaries
Abstract:
Our modern world encourages us to be all in our heads, even if that’s hard to believe when you read social media!
Our world is cerebral. We’re measured by our academic achievements, work is more and more digitalised and/or remote, we communicate on social media and hardly need to use our bodies in everyday life.
This is certainly convenient, but is it always efficient? The body is a forgotten resource when it comes to many of the challenges in our lives.
Your mission today is to learn two new ways to use your body.
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Task 1: Use your body to make decisions
This one’s from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). We all know how our bodies are often ahead of our minds in recognising truth, and they’re very hard to deceive. Anyone who’s ever had “a certain feeling” about someone and then later had that confirmed, knows what I’m talking about.
If you need to decide between two or more options, write your options on separate pieces of paper. Spread out those papers on the floor and then go and stand on each of them in turn. Take some time, breathe, and relax. Your body will let you know which option is correct.
I use this all the time. It’s even the way I determine the prices for my programs! Sometimes, my mind tried to convince me of a certain course of action, but my body says differently, and when I listen to it, I never go wrong. It’s really quite remarkable.
Task 2: Use your body to set boundaries
You’re at work and your boss or a colleague is trying to manipulate you into extra work you can’t possibly manage in your regular work hours. You’ve worked a lot of overtime recently and really don’t feel up to taking on even more right now. But how do you say “no” politely?
The answer: Practice with your body. Amy Cuddy explains how this works in her famous TED Talk. Basically, what you do is assume a stance that to you symbolises setting a firm boundary. Maybe you’ll stand like a sumo wrestler, or you stand up straight with your hand raised in front of you.
Whatever “your pose” is, practice it at least once or twice a day. At work, when you feel someone starting to overstep your boundaries, assume your pose. If your office is shared, excuse yourself to the bathroom to do this.
It’s amazing what this simple act does when it’s practised regularly. Your whole energy changes, so that people are less likely to ask too much of you in the first place. And when they do anyway, you’ll have no trouble putting your foot down.