I like to mark occasions. It’s one way of becoming conscious of the time passing; I don’t know about you, but I’m a little spooked by the way time seems to speed up the older I get. I want to honour every month, every season, every year, and so I mark them with little rituals along the way. The year-end is the biggest of those, and the most important.

A couple of years ago, I shared my year-end ritual in a video which you can view here. If you’d rather follow written guidelines, this article is for you. Maybe it’ll inspire you to create your own little ritual.

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What I do throughout the year – and why

Life in the 21st century has become highly fragmented, with us rushing around trying to fill the shoes of what used to be 10 different people doing 10 different jobs 100 years ago (actually, about 5 people and 5 jobs – the rest of our daily tasks hadn’t even been invented back then). In all this buzz, it’s easy to lose track of what matters.

The biggest life skill nowadays is to not get distracted by all the clutter, the busy-busy of smartphone notifications, incoming chats, emails and media. It’s hard to work on a long-term goal when every five minutes, something else that’s seemingly urgent muscles its way into our consciousness.

That’s why I have all my rituals scheduled in my online calender, with reminders (and those I actually allow my phone to display, whereas messages and the like are muted).

Every year, I set goals. Then every month around the 1st, I review my progress on these goals. At the beginning of each quarter follows a slightly more intense review, with goals added or taken away and an evaluation of my overall progress for the year.

The year-end ritual – preparation

When it comes to the once-a-year ritual that serves to close off the year and prepare for the new one, I make more of an effort. In essence, imagine this as a one-person party with all the frills.

The main piece of preparation, though, is all my notes from the year, from the monthly and quarterly reviews I mentioned earlier. Lots of people put them in pretty notebooks, but I’ve been paperless for years and so I’ve got them in much less pretty, but handy Word documents.

If you’re only just starting with all this and don’t have any notes from this year so far, don’t worry, you can still do the ritual. Just stick with the rest of the preparations - and they’re mostly about making things festive and comfy.

Light some candles, burn incense, get tea and Christmas cookies, and put on your favourite music. Cuddle up with a blanket or your cat - or both - and get ready.

If you were wondering when the best time would be for this: Ideally, you’d do this on one of the very last days of the year. I usually aim for the 30th or the 31st. If you’ll be busy on these days, though, any day in December (or even January) will do.

The year-end-ritual: The bad

Step 1 is to look through any and all notes from the year – again, this is if you have notes. Notice things that went well and others that didn’t work out as planned. Were there any surprises? If so, in what way? Reflect and become aware of the year that passed.

Step 2 sees you beginning to bring some order into it all. Write down, on a new piece of paper, everything that didn’t go so well in 2023. Add things you want to let go of and leave behind in 2023. Take as much time as you need. If necessary, relive the emotions associated with these things. Tears are okay.

When you feel ready to let it all go, tear up the piece of paper and burn it. Just try not to set the house on fire! If you don’t have a fireplace or a censer for incense, the sink is usually a good place.

The year-end ritual: The good

The thing with good stuff that happens is often that it becomes the norm very quickly. Therefore, it's a good idea to regularly remind yourself of them and consciously feel the associated emotions.

And so, as step 3, write down the good things that happened in 2023. Think about anything you’re grateful for. Think of the people you love, family, friends old and new, pets... Think of your passions and everything else that brings joy to your life. Write it all down.

Also add specific events that happened in 2023; anything that made you happy. Think of your successes and accomplishments. And once you’ve written it all down, re-read it and truly feel all the happiness and gratitude associated with these events. Let love flow through your entire being.

The year-end ritual: Preparing for the New Year

Now it’s time to outline 2024, which is the forth and final step. Take your inspiration from the list of good things that happened in 2023 and add any plans and dreams for your future, put them together, stir and add a pinch of joy. Write this down, too.

Then turn these unstructured ideas into goals in the main categories of life: Health, Finances, Job/Business, Relationships, Spirituality, Passions. Write down each goal and add a deadline to it. It’s a good idea to split up larger goals into smaller steps, each with their own deadline. Ask yourself how you’ll know when a particular goal is achieved.

Examples:

• Category “Health”, Goal “Get in shape”, how I’ll know: “Able to run 5 km”.

• Category “Job”, Goal “3-6 months of career coaching”, how I’ll know: “Sign up with a career coach by the end of March 2024”.

This list of goals is your basis for the monthly and quarterly goals reviews you’ll do from now on. Put the next date in your calendar and keep your list accessible. It’s not set in stone; you can and will drop some goals, add others, and cross off more and more with time.

Now celebrate (okay, this might be the inofficial fifth step)! Have a glass of something or other – or another mug of tea – and drink to the old and the new year. Dance, chat to your bestie, reward yourself. 2024 is going to be glorious.