The Happiest Times In Your Life
Let me count the ways: What’s this time of the year for?
Holiday cheer, good food and Christmas markets.
Reflection, thinking back on the past year (and maybe even a number of years).
Nostalgia (“That happened how many years ago??”) and watching old movies.
Making plans for what you’d like your next year(s) to be like.
If you’re expecting goal-setting advice in this article, I’m sorry to disappoint (you’ll get it in the video next week, though, so stay tuned!). Instead, I’d like to use all the good, fuzzy feelings in order to activate your awesome, creative powers.
If this sounds weird, bear with me. There’s a reason my tagline is “Create a life you love waking up to every morning”! The following is basically a shortcut to achieving this.
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Why nostalgia?
Nostalgia got itself a bad name, and for good reason. Entirely too many people see the past through rose-tinted glasses. Just think of all the social media posts along the lines of: “Today’s kids will never know how good it was!” or: “When times were simpler.”
The problem with all this is that it moves the good times, in fact: the best times of our lives, into the past. With this comes the implicit assumption that it’ll be impossible to make life this good ever again. That’s an incredibly defeatist attitude, and if you look at people – a lot of them truly believe this, which is sad.
What if you could use the memory of golden days in the past for good? What if you could tap into those feelings in order to create an even more amazing present and future? Would you be interested?
The power of feelings
The point where you’ll just have to trust me, is when I tell you to let your emotions take over for a bit. I’m saying this because every time I suggest people to trust their gut, their intuition – and the way it speaks to us is often through emotions – they’ll say they couldn’t possibly make “irrational decisions”.
That’s why I feel the need to clarify: I’m not talking about following every whim or silly idea. I’m talking about accessing your deepest feelings, your dreams, your longing, either that feeling of adventure and exciting new experiences, or the cosiness of a beautiful, nourishing and familiar environment.
I’m talking about authentic emotions that ring true, not spur-of-the-moment things (nothing wrong with those either, but owing to their transient nature, maybe we shouldn’t base our life decisions on them). Deep emotions are quite literally powerful. “Love conquers all” is a cliché for a reason. Armies have overcome enemies vastly outnumbering them because their soldiers believed so strongly in what they fought for. The power of belief has healed seemingly incurable illnesses. And I haven’t even started on the subject of manifestation yet!
Emotions are the big guns. The great part is: We all have them at our disposal.
The best times of your life
To go through this process, you need to create a calm, clear space you feel comfortable in. You also need about half an hour of uninterrupted time. In our day and age, this can be quite a big ask! So for once, actually mute all your devices and tell your loved ones not to disturb you for a while.
Make sure there’s good, preferably low lighting (try candles) and that the temperature is comfortable. Get cosy on the floor or a favourite seat and take paper and pen.
Now think back over your life, starting with your earliest memories. We all had different experiences, and some of your memories might not be pleasant. Skip those for now and look for the good times.
In order to get your memory going, try not to get too hung up on timelines, dates and facts. Literally feel your way back through times by letting your emotions take the lead.
Ask:
“What were the happiest times in my life?”
“Where was I?”
“What was happening?”
“What did it feel like, exactly?”
Bring up the memory before your inner eye. Recall what you saw, heard, felt and smelled. Now, tune into your emotions. Once you’re there, dial up the experience’s intensity: The colours are brighter, the sounds clearer, the emotions even more intense.
Revel in this experience for a few minutes, then write down what seems most important about them for you. Rinse and repeat with at least three of your happiest times in life (I’d say the limit would be – eight, perhaps? Unless you have a lot of time on your hands).
Harness the power
By this point, you should be swimming in a sea of beautiful emotions. The next step needs to be taken quickly, before you “lose the feeling” again.
Look over your notes, and pinpoint what exactly the most wonderful feelings consisted of. Be very specific. Don’t say: “Oh, I was just so happy!” Find a way to describe this happiness. Where was it in your body? What did it make you think? What about this particular occasion was so outstanding?
You should end up with a number of descriptions, with great detail, of how exactly you most enjoy feeling. Now all you need to do is come up with ways to create these feelings in your current and future life.
Oh, is that all, Sibylle?
I know it’s not that easy, and it won’t happen over night. But if you were capable of feeling these emotions in the past, then you can achieve them again. You don’t need to go back or experience the same things again. The emotion isn’t tied to a particular set of circumstances. It’s part of you.
It’s a good idea to align any goals or plans, pretty much everything you do in your life, with these desired emotions. What I’m saying is: Dare to be led by your feelings. Dare to be led by joy and happiness, and unabashedly follow those. Prioritise things that create these feelings. Plan your future accordingly.
As I said earlier, next week’s video is about creating a wonderful 2023. If you manage to do the exercise I described in this article by then, you’ll have a clear and certain guideline for this process.