No Life Coach Required: The Most Powerful Tool for Change is Free
What’s this, now? Am I trying to put myself out of business?
No, I’m still very much a life coach and work with clients. I even help people with the free tool teased in the headline, because as with everything else in life, knowing about something doesn’t help, only putting it in practice does. And that’s one thing us life coaches excel in: We get you into action mode.
However, it’s quite possible to use this tool all on your own. In fact, it’s much more likely you’ll stick with this than any other way of creating change. That’s exactly why it’s the most powerful tool there is: It actually works, and the results stick.
Yet, nobody’s using it. The reason for this is partly the modern world and partly our own human nature. In the following, I’ll explain why this is so, how to get past it and how to actually implement the changes you crave.
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Change and our society
To say that people dislike change is only half true. Sure, moving house is nobody’s favourite activity, and neither is starting a new job. New situations, people, and environments can be awkward and downright scary. And yet, to say that change in general is viewed as something negative is an unfair generalisation, because many people are actually open to change.
In some situations, we even crave it. If you’ve ever been in a bad job or relationship, you’ll know what I mean. It doesn’t even have to be as dramatic as all that, though – even just feeling like you’re stuck in a rut and nothing exciting ever happens can make you daydream of adventure and something – anything – new.
As is the way of our modern world, there are plenty of people who profit from this (life coaches among them; unfortunately, not all who use this title are honest). Changes, advertising tells us, are for the brave and true. They’re something to aspire to. Movies celebrate people who move halfway around the world or give up their jobs to become self-employed or go on adventures. The heroes of these stories invariably end up finding themselves, or finding love, or finding treasure, or any combination of the above.
Is it any wonder that we think we need to make sweeping gestures when we crave change? It’s the bold thing to do, isn’t it? Who wants to tell people at a party that they’ve switched to eating a healthy breakfast and lost two pounds over the last month? No, you’d much rather say that you’ve changed what you eat completely and lost 20 pounds – right?
The problem with sweeping changes
The issue with this is that these all-encompassing, radical changes rarely work out the way we want to. First of all, not everyone can afford to drop everything and travel the world. Personal, family related or financial reasons might stand in the way.
Also, contrary to what Hollywood tells us, sweeping changes tend to be short-lived. If you lose too much weight too fast, you’re very, very likely to put the weight back on afterwards. If you try to change to many things at once – such as leaving your job, relationship, and the place you live in – you might end up burnt out and going back to the same or similar circumstances eventually.
It’s particularly disheartening when the change you’re trying to achieve involves a passion, hobby or interest. This isn’t just about ego, it’s your heart that’s affected. Some people who have tried to do it all at once, have become so discouraged, they gave up on their passion.
All research in this area confirms that the best way of making changes that’ll actually stick looks more like the person who switched to one healthy meal a day and lost a few pounds per month. But that’s not marketable, so we hardly ever hear of it or see it advertised. It sounds a lot less sensational than the Hollywood movies, but it’s got the undeniable advantage that it’s doable. You’re more likely to stick it out long-term and the results will stay with you as well.
This method is known as baby steps.
Slow and steady: The most powerful tool for change
I get it – you want change, and you want it now. But how many times have you tried to make those sweeping changes and failed? Remember, the definition of madness is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result.
The unglamorous but highly effective alternative is to change something right now, today, but make it a small step. Pursue your passion for 10 minutes. Take a short walk in the fresh air. Go to bed 20 minutes early.
Whatever it is that you’re trying to achieve, it can be broken down into small steps. Careful, though: A maximum of two of these steps – in other words, the two first days – should be “research” or looking something up. Otherwise, you’re in danger of getting stuck in the planning stage.
You don’t need to figure out your whole journey just yet. Just focus on that first step, and put it in practice. Pat yourself on the back and be proud. Even this one small action has put you ahead of 90% of people who never take the first step at all.
Build consistency with small commitments – again, anything from 5 minutes a day counts. You just have to do it. If that, the doing, the actually putting it into practice, remains a challenge, you know what to do: Contact a life coach and give yourself the gift of change. Whatever it costs, you’ll get at least three times the value in return.