Abstract:

Sorry for the in-yer-face title – I thought it’s a good way to remind everyone that around here, we speak plain language and express our feelings, even the strong and negative ones. If “language” offends you, this is not your channel nor am I your coach.

I’m just really unhappy with the way our society treats the people who fall victim of the ever-rising expactation to win at life by doing everything perfectly and all at once. Building resilience is at best a band-aid, and today I’m going to rip it off and present a real solution.

Your mission is to learn why resilience isn’t the answer, and what to do instead.

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Background: Why resilience isn’t the cure for burnout

When people talk about resilience to burnout , what they most often mean is techniques such as meditation and relaxation, yoga or pilates, mindfulness or self-care measures such as massages. Now what could I possibly have against those?

Answer: Nothing whatsoever. In fact, I think they’re great and you should absolutely go for them.

The problem with using these to build resilience to burnout is that it assumes you burned out in the first place because you weren’t resilient enough. There was something wrong with you that you’re now fixing. It’s backwards – what you should focus on is fixing the actual reasons why you burned out.

Task: Fixing the problem

Humans love quick-fixes, but the truth is, this one will take some work and go far beyond this video. Basically, you’ll have to stop doing everything all at once all the time.

Never in history have we tried to fulfill so many roles, from employee to householder to athlete to socialite. You may say a farmer in history worked hard, and they did, but they didn’t also try to look like a movie star, do yoga, meditation and have a social life.

Simplifying is the way to go, and here are a few inspirations:

• Outsource housework, laundry or child care

• Get an assistant if you’re self-employed

• Learn to set boundaries and say No, a lot.

If you need help with this, it’s what I do. The magic happens when you stop doing some things and then everything else amplifies. You’ll end up focusing on what truly matters and be much happier. Burnout will be a thing of a past – you won’t need “resilience”.