Passions & Isolation: Let’s Talk about Loneliness
Abstract:
One phenomenon of our times is loneliness. Granted, it might affect younger people more than those of my wild spirits community – we didn’t grow up with the internet, after all, and are solidly rooted in the offline world – but the world has changed and we’re affected, too.
Even if you’re an introvert who loves their alone time, you still need other humans. Your mission today is to learn how to prevent or combat loneliness and thrive.
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Background: The new loneliness
There’s so much to say about this that I think I’ll resort to a list of key points:
Researchers and psychologists sound the alarm. The number of people who feel isolated has risen dramatically, especially since the pandemic.
Loneliness might not be visible at first glance. A lot of people are married, for example, but having only one other person around isn’t enough to combat loneliness. Humans need community.
Community is one of the most important factors in longevity. There’s solid research on places where there’s an unusual number of very old people, and what they all have in common is community.
Even if you’re not part of the internet generation, the world has changed and we’re busier than ever. It has got harder to be part of a community (although there are ways; here’s Barbara Sher’s wonderful TED Talk on the topic).
Task: Passions, really? Again?
Passions, hobbies or interests can be a lonely pursuit, depending on the passion, of course. With many, we tend to just do our thing. But the fact is also that passions really are one of the best ways to connect with others in our day and age.
When I came out of a high-functioning depression years ago, I was pretty isolated. What saved me was diving into my passions. They helped me meet people I had a very important thing in common with from the get-go. I made friends I still have today and wouldn’t want to miss.
Reach out! Find clubs; online groups; gatherings; workshop weekends, you name it. It will probably take some persistence, but if you make it a habit to regularly do something community oriented around your passion, you’re bound to make new friends sooner or later.
Transcript
Here follows the exact transcript of everything that’s being said in the video. You can also find this text as subtitles in the video itself.
Loneliness is not a new phenomenon but it is much more prevalent nowadays.
Hello, welcome to this week's Wild Spirits News. My name is Sibylle, and I help women between 40 and 60 to do lots of what they love and to find their unique life purpose. If that sounds interesting, check out my website, wildspiritscoaching.com.
Today's subject is 'Passions and isolation: Let's talk about loneliness'. One phenomenon of our time is loneliness, and I'll grant you that it's more prevalent in younger people because people of my generation, the people that I work with, we still grew up without the internet, and we are more strongly anchored, I believe, in the offline world, in the so-called offline world. However, the world has changed for us as much as anyone else, and even if you're an introvert who cherishes their alone time, you're a human being, and human beings need community. Your mission today is to learn how to prevent or combat loneliness and thrive.
Background
The background to this is called 'The new loneliness'. Now, there is so much to say on this subject that I've written down a list of key points so I won't still talk this evening.
The first point is: Researchers and psychologists are sounding the alarm. The numbers of people around - in all age groups, by the way - who feel lonely, who report that they feel lonely, has risen dramatically in recent years, especially since the pandemic.
The second point is that loneliness might not be immediately visible at the first glance. For example there's a lot of people who are married, and you'd think: 'Well, of course they're not lonely, they have their spouse', however one other person in your life is not enough to always combat loneliness. And we're not even talking about relationships where the spouses don't have much left to say to each other. Even in a good relationship, just one person can't ever be everything to someone. We are human beings, we're social beings, and we need community.
Community is, by the way, also one of the most important factors in longevity. There are very solid studies that have been conducted regarding some communities worldwide, countries, areas where people, a lot of people live to a very high age and live to a healthy high age. And they are as diverse as they come, so it was hard to find any common ground and a reason why. It wasn't just nutrition because they all ate differently, so what was it? And the one thing that they found out that all these communities have in common is the community, that it is a strong community, that people are involved in a community and supported by it.
And like I said, even if you're not part of the internet generation, the world has changed, we're busier than ever and it's harder, it has got harder to create community - although it is still possible nowadays, and I'm going to link you in the description, a wonderful Ted Talk by Barbara Sher on exactly that topic.
Task
The task is called 'Passions, again? Really?' That's not really a task but I had to write it, because obviously I'm the passions coach and everybody expects me to talk about passions all the time. But that is not the reason why I'm talking about it now; I mean, passions, hobbies and interests can also be a very lonely pursuit. It depends on the passion, of course, but a lot of the time, we just do we're-, just doing our thing for ourselves, at home or wherever it is. But it is also a fact that passions and hobbies and interests are one of the best ways of connecting with other people.
When I, years ago, came out of a high-functioning depression that I had had for years and where I had isolated myself, when I recovered from that, I found myself fairly lonely, and the way I got out of that was by diving into my passions. And this is the way that I started reaching out to others and meeting others through my passions, and I mean, it took a bit of a-, it took a bit of time but I made lifelong friends - friends that are still in my life now, many years later, and I cherish them and I wouldn't want to do without them.
So do it! Reach out. Again, this might take some time. It might not happen overnight, but look for ways that you can create or join a community around your passion. It can start with an online group. Look for gatherings, look for clubs, look for weekend workshops, retreats, things like that. Stick with it and don't expect miracles, but over time, you will get to know people who already have something very big in common with you, so you'll make friends quickly that way. And like I said, they tend to stick with you for life and that gives you a whole other quality of life. It enriches your passions which is nice, too, and you will never be in danger of being lonely.
Let me know
That brings me to the last point which is as usual 'Let me know'. Have you ever felt lonely? Is this not at all a thing for you? Are you still in a community? Do you have a passions community? I'd love to know, so leave me a comment below the video or reply to the email that you got the link to the video with.
And like I said, if my work interests you, check out my website, wildspiritscoaching.com. You can also sign up for the Wild Spirits Community News there, that's 100% spam free, one email per week, and I always include really important information that is useful and that you don't get to see anywhere else, so it's actually really worth it signing up for that. I'd love to have you. Have a beautiful week! I'll talk to you soon. Bye!