You’re A Mess? Good!
Abstract:
Society has this view of people in their 40s and 50s that paints them as settled and successful. Sure, we are, most of the time. But we can still make mistakes, face challenges, and be a mess.
Clients coming to me are often embarrassed at what they see as their failure. They might be burnt out and stressed and think they shouldn’t be “at their age”. It hurts my soul to see this.
Your mission today is to learn why it can be a good thing to be a mess, and how to deal with it.
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Task 1: Escape the lure of settling
You may think that none of this applies to you, but you know what? Things change, and nobody is immune to life’s ups and downs. You may need this in the future.
When I say being a mess is a good thing, I don’t mean suffering is great. Also, some situations are just plain awful and you shouldn’t have to go through them. But the “usual cases” of overwork, getting burnt out, wondering if there shouldn’t be more to life – those can be a blessing.
They’re a blessing because they prevent you from settling. The lure of mediocrity is strong. People who tick along nicely, rarely look for big changes – and often miss out on how incredible and joyful their life could be.
Task 2: Read the signs
If you feel defeated, tired, burnt out – please, please don’t resort to rigid time management and trying to become “more efficient”. Instead, ask yourself: Are you trying to be career woman, housekeeper, friend, activist, yogi, socialite, cook and cleaner all at once? Maybe it’s time to slow down.
Clear your schedule for a few weeks. Yes, it’s possible. Give yourself some breathing room and rest, a lot. Then ask yourself what you’d enjoy doing, and do lots of that. Give up all expendable things you used to do.
You’ll gain a new lease on life and discover the joy of doing things for yourself. And if you’d like any support with this, talk to me.