A New Definition Of Luxury (No Riches Required)
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of luxury is:
1: a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort (sumptuous environment)
2 a: something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary (one of life's luxuries)
b: an indulgence in something that provides pleasure, satisfaction, or ease
So, it’s about riches, right? I say: Look more closely, and you’ll see that none of these need to be monetary, or even material. Ease can be ease of spirit, a laid-back attitude. There are all kinds of pleasure and satisfaction, and “adding to pleasure and comfort”? That might be any number of things.
It’s an old trope that rich people aren’t necessarily happier than ordinary folks. In fact, some of them are downright miserable. Maybe it is time for us to claim the term “luxury” from them and make it into something that deserves the definition.
Jim Rohn famously said: “Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” He declared time the ultimate luxury, and to an extent, I agree.
Obviously, if you’re in dire straights and don’t know where the next rent will come from, you’ll beg to differ. But once your basic needs are covered– the kind of situation when you can afford to actually consider things higher up in the pyramid of needs, things like hobbies and passions and your life purpose, my main topics – that’s when money’s no longer such a big deal.
Our culture of distractions, TV, social media, screens everywhere, take up more time than we realise. Add to that jobs and social lives, and time easily becomes one of our most valuable commodities – a luxury.
But there’s more to it.
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My definition of luxury
Definitions are interesting. However, my point is that the definition of luxury is up to you in the end.
Years ago, I came out of a high-functioning depression. During my healing, I re-discovered very simple, everyday indulgences such as:
Wearing my soft house slippers that made me feel like I was literally walking on a cloud
Spending time in the forest
Eating berries with organic oatcakes
Dancing
I call these things indulgences not because they’re expensive or extravagant – they’re really not. They simply feel like the most indulgent things to me.
Another example would be the clothes I wear today. I’ve almost entirely stopped buying from shops and opted out of the fast-fashion industry. Instead, I buy my things from individual sewers and knitters who sell their things on Etsy.
The main reason why I’m doing this is that I love natural fabrics, and it’s getting harder and harder to find clothes made from pure cotton, linen or silk in stores. Wearing a wide, comfy linen blouse in the summer is bliss. Don’t get me started on pure cotton bedsheets!
There’s definitely an element of even the conventional definition of luxury there, because a lot of these clothes are tailor-made for me. This makes me feel like a lady in the 1800s buying from her personal tailor! The items may be more expensive than those in highstreet stores, but I only need very few of them and wear them for years and years. I actually think I spend less on fashion now than I used to, and I feel - well, I really do feel like a million dollars.
How to find your definition
The ultimate question is what luxury means to you. And that can be surprisingly hard to define. I certainly wouldn’t have known if you had asked me ten years ago.
To find your personal take on luxury, you need to ask yourself a question I mention a lot. You need to ask yourself, not what you would love to have or do, but how you’d like to feel.
For example, for me with my body carrying old trauma and my highly sensitive nervous system, how I’d like to feel always includes “relaxed, serene, peaceful”. To others, it might be “excited, stimulated” because they get bored easily.
There’s no judgment! None is better than the other, or more desirable. As long as you don’t have too much of one state – meaning, I enjoy excitement, too, as long as I get plenty of recovery time, and party animals need rest to unwind – you can’t go far wrong. So, find out how you’d like to feel.
Make it personal
To dig a little deeper, you could get into the habit of asking yourself at 2-3 points during the day: “What do I need right now?” Listen for the answer. There might not be one at first, so be patient. At some point, you might realise you need a nap, or a bath, or a cup of tea, or indeed, a night-out with friends. Try and provide yourself with these needs.
With time, you’ll notice recurring needs. These could be related to your personal definition of luxury. Here are a few examples I collected from my clients:
A bubble bath with a glass of wine and a good book.
A walk in my city and having coffee in a street café.
Freshly laundered sheets of good quality.
A cup of coffee on my balcony.
Sitting in my beautiful garden.
The bliss of a life of luxury
My own examples include living in the Mediterranean, especially in the summer. My little cottage still needs so much work, it’s anything but “luxurious” here! But when I sit outside the house and take in the view, I feel like the richest person on earth. When I get out of bed, put on my shoes and go for a walk in the forest behind the house, that’s luxury.
These days, when I see “cottagecore” memes on social media that talk about the dream of living in a fairy-tale cottage in the woods, I often think: Huh. I actually live like that.
Find your own luxury and live it. Why? Because you deserve it. If you know me at all, you’ll know that I’m also going to tell you to include your passions in your luxury, as well as finding your life purpose. There’s no better feeling than to wake up every morning knowing why you’re here on this planet. And when I sit down at my piano to practice, I’m very sure what my idea of luxury is.
What’s yours?