Work-life balance is a buzzword and is thrown around by companies in particular. In a time of skill shortage, employers are keen to be viewed as progressive and mindful of their people’s well-being. Others of course still drive their employees to exhaustion and expect them to be available 24/7, but their numbers are, fortunately, decreasing.

However, the responsibility of trying to create true work-life balance really lies with each individual. Considering the modern expectations of working a job, doing the housework, and having a sparkling social life, whilst somehow working out regularly and looking fantastic, achieving anything resembling balance is a challenge.

People tend to fall into two categories. One is the masters of time management, who live by the clock and get everything done with iron discipline. They might have insomnia or other stress-related symptoms, but they do manage to “have it all”. The other group is those who have basically given up and accept that one or more areas of their lives will be neglected indefinitely. Those could be health, social life, doing what they love / passions…

I constantly preach that there’s a third way. And because there are many more people who need to hear this – and others who need to hear it one more time before they start actually believing and implementing it, I’ll present it once again in the following.

Step 1: Wean yourself off the addiction

Stress and being busy is, in fact, an addiction. It’s probably the most widespread in our time, but few people even know about it. The constant need to be occupied, even in front of the computer or smartphone if all else fails, isn’t healthy – in fact, it’s killing you.

A brief explanation: Adrenaline feels good. It pumps up your heart rate, puts your brain into overdrive and all your muscles into high alert. Essentially, stress is the state you’re in when you’re expecting a predator to jump out at you any second. You’re poised to fight or run away.

That’s great when there’s an actual predator around. At all other times, though, stress is misplaced. Adrenaline is used up by physical exertion; if it isn’t, its too-high levels in the body can turn very harmful and wreak havoc, causing very real damage.

Initially invigorating, stress can be exhausting in the long run. This is the predominant feeling people have these days: They’re always on the go – running on adrenaline – and then they feel fatigued as soon as they stop for even a second.

Getting off an addiction is never pretty, and you really, really won’t want to do the two things I’m suggesting below. However, it’s critical you do them – sorry! They are:

1. Every day, do absolutely nothing for 10 minutes. No music, no screens, not even knitting. You’ll feel like you’re going nuts, but after about a week, relaxation sets in. Your thoughts stop racing.

2. Get enough rest, especially sleep. Do whatever it takes to make this happen. Sleep is much more important than you realise.

Step 2: Do pointless things

Okay, maybe I don’t mean pointless, exactly. I picked this title because we’re so brainwashed into wanting to be productive every minute of every day, it’s hard to take anything seriously that doesn’t have an immediate “use”, such as:

• A hobby or passion that you’ll definitely never earn a single cent of income with.

• A new interest or hobby that you’ve never done before and that you’re therefore very bad at.

• Anything that makes you laugh, such as a silly movie or a girl’s night with friends.

Here’s why this is so important.

We are so focused on productivity that even I feel compelled to put everything into a context of usefulness. When I recommend rest, I’ll point out that this’ll make you more creative or productive at work. I don’t really want to, but at least this way, people might consider it!

The truth is that it’s important to do “pointless things” because we’re not human doings, we’re human beings. We need to do things simply because we feel like doing them. We need to place more importance on joy and happiness. Pursuing passions and seemingly silly things, contribute to these feelings, and that’s all the reason you should need for doing them.

Step 3: Embrace dynamic balance – the true work-life balance

If by work-life balance, you mean you’ll never be stressed again, you’ll be disappointed. Neither does it mean that you’ll come home from work at the same time each day and then spend a relaxed evening with your loved ones doing wholesome things like crafting.

Depending on your job, there’ll likely be times when you work all hours to finish an important project. There might be weeks where you battle your teenager daily over some rebellion they stage. You, or someone else, might get sick or break an arm or a leg, and you won’t get to do any of your passions. Other times, you’ll be so absorbed in doing what you love, you’ll neglect everything else in your life.

As long as these phases alternate and hectic times are followed by periods of calm and rest, you haven’t failed. On the contrary, you have achieved the rarest thing in our day and age: a fulfilled life.

“Balance”, when it comes to our lives, doesn’t mean everything in the same measure, all the time. It means that in the long run, things will balance out. It’s completely normal for one or more things to take over your life for a time. As long as it’s temporary, and followed by a balancing opposite at some point, life is exactly how it’s meant to be.

This is what’s called dynamic balance, and it’s the holy grail of modern life. It’s also the most conducive to actual happiness. It’ll leave you in a state of content, with occasional dosages of healthy stress to spice things up, and with plenty of energy to do the things you love – be it for money or simply the sheer, wild joy of it.